Jordan doesn’t just make plans — Jordan has a plan for the plan. If there’s a spreadsheet involved, it’s color-coded. If there’s a crisis, it’s already handled. Calm, capable, and always three steps ahead.
Goat Persona: EXECUTIVE
Nominated by: The Team
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Dave once parallel parked a moving van in one try. He also fixed the WiFi without calling anyone. We don’t know how he does it. We just know he does.
Nominated by: Anonymous
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Lily handles chaos like it’s a scented candle. Nothing rattles her. She drinks tea. She exhales. We all calm down.
Goat Persona: ZEN MASTER
Nominated by: A Slightly Frazzled Human
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